How to maximize the value of a gift?
According to the researcher F. Flynn, the answer to the question depends on whether your are the favor-doer or favor-receiver. According to Flynn, immediately after one person performs a favor for another, the beneficiary of the favor places more value on it than the favor-doer.
However as time passes, the value of the favor decreases in the recipient's eyes, whereas for the favor-doer it actually increases!
One potential reason for the discrepancy is that the memory of the event gets distorted and since people have a tendency to see themselves in the best possible light, the beneficiary may think that he didn't need all that help at the time, while the giver may think that he really went out of its way.
As paralegals, how can we maximize the value of a favor we provide?
- First, if you've done a favor for a colleague, that favor will likely have the most impact on that person's desire to reciprocate within a short period of time following the favor. So if you want to ask for something in exchange, act quickly!
- Another way would be to recognize the value of the gift or favor you have provided by telling the receiver that you were very happy to help because you know that if the situation was ever reversed, "I'm sure that you would do the same for me.”
- A third strategy might be to restate the value of the previous favor before making a subsequent request in the future. Of course, saying something like, “remember when I helped you out a few weeks ago? Well, now it is pay back time!” is destined to fail. But offering a gentle reminder, perhaps by inquiring, “How useful did you find the report I sent you?” might be an appropriate communication before you make your request.
And if all else fails, we should just remember one simple rule of exchange: Just as we'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, we'll definitely catch more favors with a bottle of vintage wine than with a loaf of stale old bread...
To know more:
N. J. Goldstein, S. J. Martin, Robert B. Cialdini, Yes!: 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive 60-63 (2008).
F.J. Flynn, What Have You Done for Me Lately? Temporal Adjustments to Favor Evaluations, Organizational Behavior & Human Decision Processes 38-50 (2003).
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